Friday, March 25, 2011
Let People Know What's Going On
One of the best things that happened in my life was to finally tell someone. It was one morning about 4 years ago. I had been crying since I woke up and my roommate told me to call my doctor. I got an appointment to see the assistant. I shrunk down in the passenger seat of the car as my roommate drove me there and I broke down crying when the PA asked me what was wrong.
What could I say? How could I describe the oppressive weight of everyday life, the emotional roller coaster, the crying jags. I didn't even know why I was crying. I just felt horrible and I wanted it to stop.
Everyone at the office was so kind and understanding. They didn't treat me like a leper, but instead they gave me knowing smiles and pats on the arm. With words of encouragement, a prescription for Paxil and the name of a therapist, I left the office with the sense that there might just be a way out of this after all.
Sometimes it's hard to tell people, especially because they start asking "Oh, honey. What can I do for you? How can I help?" What do you say to that? It's not like they can whip out a magic wand and make it go away. I usually end up just asking for a hug, because those always make me feel a little better, even if just for a moment.