Friday, April 15, 2011

Therapy - What Do I Need?

Over the past few years I've been to two different therapists. I stared seeing each of them while I was deep down in my depression. Once they saw that I was happier and less stressed out, they started saying things like "I think we can go longer in between sessions," or "Do you think you still need to see me?"

I'm still not sure, though, that I've really tackled the issues that contribute to my depression. Even though I'm currently feeling better about myself, my tendency towards self hatred implies that I need to work on my self-image and self-worth. I still get into situations where I take on more than I should, either because I feel like I can't say "No" or because I genuinely think that I can handle it (but then it turns out I can't.) Plus, I'm sure that I've got some codependency issues floating around in the mix.

My current therapist thinks that my self-hatred issues can be resolved by reading a book and doing the exercises in the workbook. In the back of my mind, though, I have to wonder - Isn't that what I'm here for? Last session I told her about some of the great ideas I've been talking about on the blog - thanking yourself, making a "brag book" with all the different "kudos" I've gotten, etc. She thought they were all wonderful ideas and even wrote a few down for her to suggest to other patients. But still, we haven't really looked at why I don't like myself

I guess I'm going to have to get aggressive. The thought of looking for a new therapist is daunting. First, I'll try to talk with the current one and tell her that I need some more help and that I'd rather do the work with her instead of reading the book. Hell, I don't care if she tells me to do the same thing the book does. I would just rather do it with someone and have someone personally challenge me. When a book asks you personal questions, you can just move on without answering. Having a person ask those questions means you really have to think about it and answer it!

If I feel that she still can't challenge me enough and get me out of my comfort zone, I'm going to have to move on and look for another therapist. Here's to hoping that I can get things back on track with this one!


  1. Try to get her moving. I've read a million (ok maybe not that many) self help books and I find it very difficult to do the exercises on my own. I simply quit seeing my therapist and I regret it. Now to go back or find another one, I would have to sit on a waiting list. Needless to say, I regret that I didn't try harder before giving up.

  2. I dont want to be a pooper but that sounds like one lazy therapist to me. I would be mad as hell if she told me to just do a workbook. Learning to love yourself and learning to overcome depression is not something you can get just from books - you need a human element, as you already obviously know. I would seriously tell her that you are not happy with what she is doing.
    And Im a bit shocked that she is taking tips from you on what things to suggest to her patients, especially since that one I told you about is in any self-help, motivational book out there.
    I really hope you can get her to understand what you need. I know how hard it can be to start over with a new one.

  3. Maybe try telling her what you said here about wanting her to ask you the hard questions like the ones in the book she recommends first. And if she doesn't seem to want to do that then definitely look for someone else...

  4. Good luck. Hopefully your therapist can get on the same page as you.