Monday, April 18, 2011

Living Alone

It's been years since I've had my house all to myself. After my divorce, I was alone for a while but then brought on a roommate who mostly kept to his bedroom. He ended up moving out of state and then a bit later my then-boyfriend moved in. While we were together, we got a third roommate, who then left after graduating college. When we broke up, he still needed a place to live, so he stayed on but with his own bedroom. A year or so ago, a friend of ours needed a new place to stay, so he rented one of the bedrooms. This past fall, though, I asked him to move out so that my girlfriend could move in.

So, if you couldn't follow all of that back and forth, suffice it to say I haven't lived alone for more than a year, and it wasn't all in one continuous stretch.

Currently the ex still lives with me and my girlfriend, and he's looking to move out this summer. I was looking forward to making the place into a home for just the two of us after he was gone. However, things are probably not going to happen exactly the way I thought.

My girlfriend is finishing up her first year of grad school this spring. Since August, she has been commuting 1.25 hours each way and spending 99% of her time on school, school work, working from home or sleeping. Next year is rumored to be even more hellish than this one and there will be a large shadowing component where she'll need to be visiting schools. Therefore, it's going to make more sense for her to move closer to school.

So, I'm suddenly faced with the very real possibility that I will be living alone in a few months. Part of me is excited, but part of me is terrified!

  • Privacy
  • No cleaning up after others
  • Turn the music/tv up as loud as I want
  • Decorate however I want
  • No fighting for the shower/bathroom
  • No car shuffling in the driveway
  • Other people's alarms won't wake me up
  • No waiting for other people's laundry to be finished
  • Dishwasher will be run much less
  • No fighting over what's on the TV or DVR
  • I can spread out into other bedrooms to make space for doing hobbies
  • More closet space, refrigerator space and cupboard space!
  • Nobody to hang out with
  • Nobody to share chores with
  • Nobody to help with heavy lifting or large jobs
  • Nobody to watch the pets if I have a long day at work
  • Nobody to witness if I'm sliding back into old habits
  • Nobody to cheer me up when I'm down
  • Nobody to coddle me when I am sick
I guess when I lay it all out like that, it doesn't seem too bad. I can always call people up to hang out with them or have family/friends come over to help with heavy lifting or projects. I'll talk with my girlfriend every day of the week and see her on weekends, and my family lives close enough that they could help me if I really needed some urgent help.

It probably all boils down to fear of change. If I take it one thing at a time, it won't seem so scary or overwhelming.  I'll hold my breath and jump in. Let's hope the water is warm!


  1. I am in the opposite shoes - I have not had a roommate in five years... and will soon have one (in June.) *gulp* I am nervous about that. I LOVE living alone - it's like you said, you just have to make sure you reach out to people when you need them. Don't stay home alone for more than 48 hours (like from Friday night til Monday morning.) It messes with your head... if you take the steps to make sure you get "proper socialization," you will be better able to survive and to even enjoy living alone! :)


  2. Thanks, Diane! I never thought of a time limit, like you mentioned. Great idea!

    Roommates are ... interesting. Hopefully you know this person. All my roommates have been friends, or friends of friends. I can't imagine living with a total stranger! Good luck!

  3. I've never lived alone, and at this point it looks like that may never happen. lol I totally agree with all of your sounds wonderful to live alone. But then I see the list of cons and I would be worried about all of those things too. It sounds like this time alone would be temporary so I hope you enjoy it! You know at work we like to say "We can do anything for 10 min or an hour" You can do anything for a few months!

  4. Amy Jo - so true! Plus, I forgot to mention that I won't really be alone on the weekends when Susan is not at school! It will be the best of both worlds. :)