Mostly Productive

Things have been going well. I'm all set to get my new floors installed the week of May 23rd. It does require some juggling of the animals to make sure the dogs won't be in their way, but it's all planned out and super easy!

Mornings haven't been perfect, but they've been much easier than ever. I've been to work on time every day and haven't been stressed out at all. It's been a little slow at work lately, so that's nice. Today was busier and I was feeling pretty tired, but I got through it, thankfully due to my lunch break.

Ho-Hum

I haven't felt much like writing lately. I don't think it has been because I didn't want to, but because I'm not really sure what to talk about right now.

I've been keeping busy. Work is going well and I have some volunteer opportunities coming up to interpret concerts and festivals. I was asked to do them by a client who likes my work, so that makes me feel really good. I haven't seen her in about a year, but it's nice to know she still thinks about me and likes what I do.

The puppy has been an experience. She's still getting house broken, which is getting better and better. She knows that outside is for going potty, but she still hasn't learned that inside is NOT for going potty. She's not as crazy as I thought a puppy would be. She does have her spurts of energy, but she also likes to take it easy. Cuddling with her always makes me feel good, no matter what is going on. She has had to go to the vet a few times, though, because she's got a lump on her head, which we think is from her clumsiness and her propensity for bonking her head on things (she doesn't know how big she really is!)

Priorities

The last week and half has been hectic, dealing with the new pups and everything that goes along with that. During that time, I stopped putting myself first and went back to old habits - eating crappy food, not sleeping enough, not taking the time to put on makeup, etc.

So, I'm trying to find a balance. How do I deal with taking care of others but still make sure to take care of myself and the things I need to do, like go grocery shopping and doing my laundry?

Caring for Others

My girlfriend does foster work with dogs and last week we were presented with the opportunity to foster 3 Great Dane puppies. I've always wanted a Great Dane, but I wasn't sure if we could handle 3 of them, along with the rest of the menagerie we already have. I wanted to do it, though, so they were dropped off on Monday night of last week.

What a challenge! Three 40lb dogs that aren't house broken, crate trained or socialized takes a lot of work! If I had taken on this task before, I would have easily been overwhelmed. However, even though there was a lot of things that weren't pleasant to do, I found that I wasn't annoyed or angry to do them. They are just puppies and they don't know any better. They don't understand what's going on.

Music and Mood

It's a well known fact that music can impact our mood. Some songs make us want to cry and others make us want to dance.

When dealing with depression, it's important to surround ourselves with positive things. However, if we like darker, melancholy music, that can perpetuate the feelings we're having. Or, if there are songs that you used to turn to when you were down, listening to those songs can bring you back into the mood you were originally in when you resonated with that song.

Losing Momentum

This week I feel like I'm starting to lose ground, that I'm walking in stilettos on a cobblestone road. I'm still upright, but things are shaky.

I haven't been as productive as I was last week. Maybe I wore myself out? I've still been pretty good at getting home and taking the dogs for a walk, but I've spent a little more time in front of the TV than I'd like, and I haven't touched the bathroom project again.

There was one day where I could not get going. I didn't follow any of my back-up plans - reading my letter, or jumping in the shower and then deciding what to do with my day. Instead, I hit snooze and ignored life.

I feel like I had a month of sobriety and then I just took a drink; I'm back to square one.

Living Alone

It's been years since I've had my house all to myself. After my divorce, I was alone for a while but then brought on a roommate who mostly kept to his bedroom. He ended up moving out of state and then a bit later my then-boyfriend moved in. While we were together, we got a third roommate, who then left after graduating college. When we broke up, he still needed a place to live, so he stayed on but with his own bedroom. A year or so ago, a friend of ours needed a new place to stay, so he rented one of the bedrooms. This past fall, though, I asked him to move out so that my girlfriend could move in.

So, if you couldn't follow all of that back and forth, suffice it to say I haven't lived alone for more than a year, and it wasn't all in one continuous stretch.